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NLP Presuppositions Part 2

Following on from my first post, NLP Presuppositions Part 1, I’m going to cover off two more presuppositions:

‘If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got!’

This is all about giving ourselves options and choices, specifically in situations where the response (both ours or another person’s) that we keep getting is not what we want. It sounds simple yet it’s such a common trap we can fall into, in all sorts of areas of our lives.

I see this presupposition relating both to very large scale situations or events such as repetitive longterm unhealthy relationships, to the smaller ones such as an emotional reaction each time we take a phone call from someone specific. In whatever situation the first thing to do is be as observant as possible to every element of our behaviour and look at any pattern, before figuring out which areas we can do something different in. These could be changes in our actual behaviour, the environment we find ourselves in or our thinking patterns. Some of these changes can be very detailed and small, such as in the latter example, thinking of something we admire or a virtue in the other person when we hear their voice or something as simple as pre arranging a day and time to speak to the person so you have some control.

 

‘There is no failure only feedback’

I really like this one. In it’s simplest form it means we have the choice to decide how we interpret the information we receive, in any given situation. It also means that there is always something helpful we can learn from every type of behaviour, thinking or situation. So this could relate both to our behaviour and another persons behaviour. From big things like the ending of a relationship or a business venture to small things like someone saying or doing something that is hurtful to us.

The question we can ask ourselves is what can I learn from this?

For a big event such as a business failure we could delve deeply into the decisions that were made and we can look at the processes and systems that were used.

If it’s down to a personal relationship we can look at what information we are getting and what we know about the other person before deciding what to do with that and how we want to think, feel or behave that will give us the best possible outcome. Or we might simply learn that there are personality traits that are not the most suitable for us to be forming close relationships with.

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